Being a Woman

There are a lot of good wishes doing the rounds today...and everyone's really upbeat about the role of women in their lives and how much we mean to them. Yet im thinking on another tangent. What does it really mean to be a woman?

Is it your first period? or the absolute need to keep your house in order?? or your bonding over "Guys are really wired wrong all the way...."? Is it the moment you hold your child in your arms?? or is it watching over your younger siblings when even the word 'motherhood' doesn't exist in your vocabulary? What is it that sets us apart? That makes us endure pain, sometimes even emotional trauma and still hold ourselves and our families together? What are we made of?? Resilience? Determination? Forgiveness? Love?

I live in a country of paradoxes, where mother goddesses are worshiped and also where women like 'Nirbhaya' exist. I hear a lot about 'male domination' and 'patriarchal mindset'. What are these guys trying to dominate? The absolute sense of 'never giving up', the sheer selflessness, or the striving for the welfare of their loved ones? What? They are only deluding themselves. None of these so-called patriarchs would last a day or even exist if it wasn't for the women standing in the shadow of their glorified male ego and their chauvinism.

I use this day to send out a blessing if you will, to all the women who are exploited, raped and who live in extremely inhuman circumstances. I pray that you don't let that light die within you. You exist because this world could not do without you. Yes, that's true. There is definitely somebody/something that depends on you. On your very existence. And i pray that you find it.

Women have their role in society as much as men do. The fact that women may still need to fight for this basic right is the defeat of democracy, of society and our value systems. Change begins at home. Give your daughters the same opportunities as your sons. Give her the same upbringing and imbibe her, with the same attitude of independent living as in your sons. And then see her blossom into a beautiful individual. That's the least we can all do.

As for the rest of us. Celebrate your womanhood. Rejoice that you are a woman. Celebrate your indomitable spirit.

Lastly, a quote -


'So kyun manda akhiye, jit jamme rajaan?' (So why call her bad? From her, kings are born.)
                                                                                                              - Guru Nanak

Introspection..

My pride as an indian has been fiercely shaken. Internationally, we are shamed. We feel ashamed in our hearts that we are a part of this "Democracy", where such unimaginable crimes happen.

I don't feel that we should celebrate our republic day, because we are NOT free. The British have been replaced with social evil and a patriarchal attitude. Our government is apathetic and slow in action, event after 65 years of independence. Aaj Bharat Mahan hai - aisa nahi lag raha. Our erstwhile leaders & freedom fighters would be repulsed, if they knew that this was the 'bright future' of the nation that they actually fought and laid down their lives for.

But like any other Indian, i don't intend on giving up. And neither should we. Lets pay homage to the brave girl by ensuring that we do our bit. That we start with changing the mindsets in our family, among our friends. And that we do not stop voicing the stark injustice that we all face, till effective laws come in place to ensure a safe environment for the women of this country. We do not rest till India is safe for every individual. Not only during our lifetime but also for those who will follow.

May her soul rest in pace. She has shown us the naked picture of our society and the evils which reside in it. The least we can do is to never let any woman/man/child go through a similar ordeal ever again. She has not died in vain. INDIA, lets ensure that we live up to her expectations

Nature's elixir..

No episode of Satyamev Jayate, has really created as much of an outrage in my mind, as today's did. As a mumbaikar, ive only heard of people having problems related to water scarcity, empathized and then forgotten about it. I had read about how water pollution was rampant and how we need stricter reforms...etc.

But the mere photos of rivers like Ganga and Yamuna being used as sewage and Garbage dumps, horrified me to the core of my being. To realize that, we in mumbai receive water from villages as far as 100 Km's because were not able to harness the monsoon water, is disconcerting. No more long showers for me definitely.

The framers of our constitution and laws, got everything right, except the overseeing of implementation. We have a law to fallback upon, to prevent such kind of blatant pollution and destruction of water, natural ecosystems...but we do not implement them. How do companies which dump the garbage in our rivers even exist today?? Why havent they been shut down? Because they bribed a govt. auditor?? or because we just dont care enough.

No wonder, little rain and were flooded. There is not outlet for the water - naturally (Duh!!). Were turning ourselves into a concrete jungle...killing our every interaction with mother nature. WEN DO WE STOP? Sure the govt officials are corrupted - so they should be replaced by others - who continue the same cycle. It never ends. Considering the rate at which we are expanding, clean water is a very precious resource...and were polluting watever little is left.

I believed that things weren't so bad. But i was wrong. We all need a reality check. Things are really bad and they're getting worse - every single day that we sit around and JUST talk. The govt needs to be prodded into action - whether its water pollution,  garbage disposal or rain water harvesting.We need to be able to remove time from our hectic lives for these problems - because the year end appraisal, or ur brand new car wont make a difference, if nature is dying around you. If the only sources of water around you are unsafe, or if you cant even walk outside w/o covering your nose from the stench of overflowing waste bins.

Our ancestors have always lived in tandem with nature - sure they died earlier, but healthier...We need to reverse our cycle back. If every individual can spend a few minutes on thinking wat he/she can do, we will arrive at a solution. Its a community effort and we all need to stand united for once.

Life's little things....

Were all so caught up in our daily routines, petty frustrations, the need to get more than what we've already got. No time to pause..after all looking back is like losing. Our lives are so hectic and full of deadlines, plans & whatnot. There's no time to stop and assess.No time to look back and see how far you've really come. To find out whether you're really on the right track in life. No, all we care about, is the next bonus, salary date, the list of weddings you're supposed to attend (especially this time of the year), all the stuff you need to buy; and maybe now and then whine about 'Why o why, dont i already have '----'? Its an endless stream. Life goes on...days pass buy. Before you know it, its the end of the year.

The point of my talking about the above, is - why dont we just take out some time, when we could just be ourselves....feel carefree....really feel alive. We always live our lives for others/other things. There's no time or place for the little, beautiful things in life. So much goodness around. Miracles every day. And we just pass them by.

I normally go gymming every day. I usually smile and wave at the watchman, while passing at the gate. Only today he walked towards me...asked me how i was and then proudly said 'Madam, mere doosre bete ki navy main naukri lag gayi'. There was a big smile....yet humbleness accompanying it, and definitely well earned pride. I congratulated him and walked along..but it got me thinking. He probably never went to school, never dreamed of big jobs or money. Did a small job, but very courteously, greeting me with a smile everyday. All of a sudden i felt small, in all my misgivings, my complaints sometimes about how screwed my life is...His was worse, yet he was thankful every day for his job. He probably wont ever read this blog...wouldnt know he is the subject of my post. His constant dedication to his work and his nature.., probably his pride for his son's accomplishment, demands more respect than a lot of accomplished people i know.

'Accomplishment' holds different meanings to different people. Its not always money, or beauty or fame. Sometimes it's the little thing. It's hearing about your son's new job, which you couldn't even dream of. It's the smile when you know that someone special loves you too. It's the feeling you helped somebody. It's present in the love you feel for your family. It's your passion.

So, time to stop. To take a turn and look back. To live the little things in life.

Something Precious..

There's always that little thing that makes everything worthwhile....all the frustration, the negative media, ur own problems. It's when you come across some very mundane but heart wrenching experiences, when u feel like there is still some goodness in this world. Keeping aside everything that we complain about, all the hatred we see and feel, the anger; There is at least somebody who is doing things right.

Im heading home after a long day of work, sitting in the rickshaw and then i reach home. I am about to pay the guy, when he turns around and says 'Madam, aapse ek salah chahiye..poochoon??'

Not something you would expect from a rickshaw driver. Then he asks me about where i think, he should send his daughter to study, as apparently im a working woman & have a better idea regarding career decisions. He goes on to describe for the next 10 minutes - about how after a lot of difficulties, he sent his daughter to college; after his wife expired. He says his daughter is depressed, doesn't go to college and evidently has a lot of household responsibilities. His son works but doesn't give a damn about his family. He says that he is a father after all, he cant confront his daughter like a mother would. Would correspondence courses be a good idea? He wants his daughter to become independent before he dies. Wat can he do?

I ask him to try to get her educated nevertheless, correspondence or not. He thanks me and goes his way. And i cant wipe out the smile, off my face. This man, uneducated himself, barely able to hold make his ends meet, still believes his daughter should study. It makes me feel better. The world aint so bad. Its small, precious, moments like these, which inspire you. If this guy can think positively, in spite of all the issues he's facing? Then why can't I??

It's not a terrorist, film star or politician who impacts the good/evil in this world. It's the common man. It's a rickshaw driver, or a grocery store owner. It's U. And it's something precious.

U

Writing is like a river....u cant hold on to the flow of thoughts for too long...every good line is an idea. So I better pen it down before its brilliance fades. So here i am writing after a long time..just because i felt the moment now as - just right.

Im wondering what would really make your life worth living. I mean not the same routine, stress, worry, responsibilities. I meant what could you do, to just feel U?? To just feel free. Like you were born for it. Like it gives you a high. It could be your current job, personal experience or just a thought/memory that makes you smile. :)
Getting the answer to this question is really difficult. u could turn to religion, spiritualism, leadership...but youll always come back to U. It's always U in the end. U have a depth, even you couldnt imagine. But its all there.

So rite now, u either think im crazy, philosophical or absolutely correct. Irrespective, i cant stop writing all of a sudden. My thoughts on this are like an unsaddled, wild horse..who just cant stop running. I always thought, that somewhere, we all know what we really want and inspite of all the 'responsibilities', 'work pressures' or 'Problems'; its actually U who is stopping urself. From going on that vacation, taking a break, saying out loud, laughing like uve never laughed before, trusting your heart with somebody, or maybe just doin that very thing that gives you a high. That makes ur heart beat faster. U are the problem. Bcoz frankly anybody who really wanted something and acted stubborn enough..kinda got it in the end. Take up any example of an achiever, leader....this stubbornness..or i would say unwavering faith in themselves, their dream, kept them going. U are afraid to decide you could be actually responsible for what happens to you.

So why not do something that makes u feel this way, once in a while. U dont have to wait till ur old/dying/injured to think about what u wanted to do. Just go out and do it. A little bit of indulgence always keeps the spirit young!! go get U a new anthem...a new passion...a better way of life.

Signing off. Godspeed.

Democracy

We have all been through the excruciatingly monotonous process of understanding this word 'Democracy', as part of our social sciences in high school. But today as a citizen, in the worlds largest democracy, what does it really signify for each of us?? How do we play our role?? How can we make our voices heard?? Where does accountability checks (for our leaders) come into picture and how can it be successfully implemented without fear of anarchy creeping in?? What can be done to stop the rampant corruption and the wastage of precious tax rupees along with it?? These questions hold the key to a successful and 'practical' democratic setup. This is exactly what i intend to discuss in this post.

Recent events have all been about how the people triumphed over the corrupt govt. Hurray!! We got what we wanted. But i think there have been good and bad implications. Anna Hazare standing up for the common man and pushing the lokpal bill into being 'actually' considered by the current govt., was a great step. It showed that govt.s are accountable to the common man. So far so good. Then came the whole Ramdev Baba fiasco. Where a yoga teacher, with a great fan following decided that he was the voice of a billion people (with out actually verifying it) and copied the anna hazare story. That's wen things started going downhill. I think that is where we lost as responsible citizens. We as individuals have a responsibility deciding what causes we support. Talking about 'creating your own army' and fighting the govt.s corruption and inactivity; is like creating a non-democratic, violent and anarchist setup for a democratic cause. Probably the biggest irony of our times.

Then comes the issue of lathi charge by the delhi police after such silly, immature remarks made on television. Again intention right, but end result terribly wrong. The police cannot hit and drag women, children and even men, who are protesting non violently. yes the whole protest was veering towards a dangerously slippery slope; But the govt. and police are still accountable in the manner in which the whole gathering was disrupted. A prior warning, by the police, to evacuate, should have done the trick. Somehow the idea of the police, serving and protecting the weak, always slips away.

I think that we NEED to hold the govt. accountable; we NEED to have stringent laws against corruption and money laundering; we NEED to make our concerns heard and see it through. The only debatable point here being 'HOW' we plan to do the above. And that is the key, to a smooth and efficient governance. We have the right constitutionally, to protest, to voice our concerns and to make some noise. But we DO NOT have the right to disrupt governance and disobey democratically correct and essential processes. We cannot raise armies of our own accord or march out one day, and say, that you will pass a new law on your own by holding the govt. at ransom. Such an act only defeats the true purpose behind it. I'm sure every other terrorist organization, started for a good cause; and ended being the most anti-humanitarian setup. It's a fine line.

This situation is like a double edged sword - inaction is not recommended, so also violence. We need to come at an effective solution where accountability and public concerns can form the basis for new laws and methods of governance. We have taken a start. But now we need to responsibly act and move the idea of 'govt. for the people, and by the people' further. We need to develop channels were discussions between citizens, govt., and the learned happen, and affect and change the course of our democracy for good.